Books
Boomers On The Edge
Where can you go when you’ve been pushed to the edge? The baby boomer generation has found itself in a perfect storm of new and difficult challenges. Aging parents need care. Adult children are moving back home. And just when boomers thought they could retire, economic realities such as meager 401(k) plans and crushing medical expenses are forcing boomers by the thousands back into the workplace. As a boomer, you will have to face at least one of these situations and perhaps even juggle all three. Boomers on the Edge explores the unique challenges that lie ahead and shows how you can survive and even flourish. This book is filled with practical advice, and it is also rich in encouragement. Author Terry Hargrave helps you see the opportunities behind todays changing circumstances. Now is a new chance to build a legacy of wisdom and connection with your parents, learn new responsibility as a parent to older children, and deepen your faith in the face of financial realities. By embracing the emerging landscape of tests and changes, you will discover the rewards of developing a servant’s heart, and you will come to see God’s faithfulness as never before.
Loving Your Parents When They Can No Longer Love You
We live in the age of aging. Because of this, there are a number of challenges presented to the family among the most complex is the job of caring for frail parents. It’s a confusing, stressful, and exhausting time. But it can also be a time of remarkable spiritual growth. Loving Your Parents When They Can No Longer Love You helps you navigate your role as caregiver with God’s grace and guidance. And it alerts you to the difficult issues you may face, such as: Legal and financial decisions How much care will be needed and when Evaluating different living options Depression, dementia, and Alzheimers disease Caring for a parent who has mistreated you Accepting and planning for death Most important, this book helps you embrace caregiving as a spiritual journey that will deepen your faith and strengthen your character. It not only opens your eyes to the realities of caregiving; it also teaches you how to allow God to change your life for the better.
Strength and Courage for Caregivers
Taking care of a family member who is ill, disabled, or dying requires courage, strength, commitment, and love. Now Terry Hargrave, an expert in counseling and caregiving, offers you help with a devotional written with your specific needs in mind. The morning prayers and evening reflections in this book are short and to the point. Strength and Courage for Caregivers weaves together powerful stories, practical advice, and the restorative promises of Scripture, reminding caregivers that they are not alone in this important yet all too often unacknowledged and underappreciated work.
The Essential Humility of Marriage
This fresh perspective on what makes marriages work will jumpstart the efforts of every couples therapist. At its core is Hargrave’s message that much of what is currently done in couples therapy misses the point, focusing all attention on the need to accumulate more and more skills and to work toward ever-greater self-actualization. While there is a time and place for both of these concerns, Hargrave suggests that the real answer resides in some new math. Where once we believed that two became one, and then, more recently, that two remained two, Hargrave proposes that in strong marriages, two become three.
The Essential Humility of Marriage explores the landscape of “you,” “me,” and “we.” The book clearly ccarves out this third identity, and then describes how its expectations and desires can take precedence over those of the individual partners-without taking away from either one. Why the concept of “us” plays such a central role in satisfying marriages is explained, and ways in which therapists can help couples first to acknowledge and then to strengthen that “us” are demonstrated.
Hargrave doesn’t offer a single method or technique so much as an entirely new perspective on what healthy, growing marriages have in common, and where foundering marriages have gone wrong. He has written this book to help therapists help their clients to regain -- or perhaps to discover for the first time -- the rich mutual benefits that can come with a long-term relationship.
What People Are Saying
A wise, balanced, and original approach to fostering a strong ‘us’ in marriage without losing the ‘you’ and ‘me.’ Hargrave is on to something that nobody in our field has captured before.
— William J. Doherty
The New Contextual Therapy
This brief clinical guide de-mystifies Contextual Theory of family counseling for practitioners and students in language that is succinct and lucid. Contextual Family Therapy is a profound, far-reaching approach that offers a comprehensive theory of integrating and balancing the concerns of individuality and togetherness. This book is written to expose a whole new generation of therapists to this important approach to family therapy. In making the volume short and accessible, the goal is not to re-write the work of the past but rather to give the reader the basis to see the power of the approach and give the foundation to understand the existing clinical guides. Through detailing and examining the four interplaying dimensions of relationships-objectifiable facts, individual psychology, systemic interactions, and relational ethics-Contextual Theory gives therapists the ability to reshape human relationships and solve problems using the strengths of trust, fairness, and freedom.
Forgiving the Devil
The place of forgiveness in the field has changed dramatically since Hargrave began his work, with more and more professionals looking for ways to integrate a meaningful definition and effective applications into their therapy. Now Terry Hargrave's newest book, Forgiving the Devil, introduces practical ways to do both.
The title of the book is meant to reflect the essential idea that "forgiveness" can be an active -- and powerful -- healing agent, even in the wake of the most heinous experience. Whether or not a relationship can be reclaimed, there are pieces that can be salvaged from it and used … to protect, to prevent, to forewarn, to move on. And in cases where restoration is possible, Hargrave outlines the steps that may be taken to facilitate a shift from victim to victor in the relationship. The author's own moving story, which he shares here, coupled with case material and a thoughtful theoretical foundation, make this a uniquely accessible and penetrating resource for therapists and their clients.
Families and Forgiveness
Fueled by a fundamental belief in the strength and resourcefulness of families, Dr. Terry Hargrave sets forth a conceptual framework to help therapists and their clients negotiate the difficult pathway toward achieving forgiveness. Unflinchingly honest yet deeply optimistic, the volume is based on a complex therapeutic process that Dr. Hargrave has used - quite successfully - with numerous clients who have suffered severe violations of love and trust within their intergenerational families. He conceptualizes the work of forgiveness as four "stations" on the journey toward this goal. The author provides vivid case histories from his own practice that demonstrate how each of the four stations plays out in a therapeutic situation. Practitioners will also benefit greatly from a discussion of the therapeutic issues facing the therapist who is helping an individual or family work through painful violations. Dr. Hargrave addresses the goals, pace, and assessment of forgiveness - ever vigilant to maintain the client's integrity and protection - as well as the role the therapist should play in each station.
Finishing Well
Offers therapists guidance in helping multigenerational families with older members understand and cope with the myriad challenges they face. The text considers such issues as: confronting death; life validation; life review; and exoneration, forgiveness, and healing in the family.
The Aging Family
As the population of the United States ages, and the lifspan increases, so does the number of living generations. The mental health care delivery system therefore faces new challenges. The United States is heading into the 21st century with multigenerational families now commonplace, with up to four or five generations co-existing at the same time. And each generation is forced to deal with its own developmental transitions as well as complex cross-generational issues. When a therapist steps into this situation, his or her role has to take on board the complexity of the whole family system.; This text highlights the issues that hold families together and often tear them apart. It offers core perspectives that seek to make the work of intervention easier and more effective for the clinician. Whether the therapist is called upon to intervene on behalf of elder members to deal with issues such as depression, or to step in when younger members are trying to determine how best to provide eldercare, the perspectives presented in "The Aging Family" aim to enrich the strategies used.